Can AI Meet Emotional Needs: What We Need from Real Human Relationships
Guest article by: Jessie Larimer, LMFTA with Luma Counseling
Artificial intelligence has the potential to improve many areas of life. It can help us solve business problems, plan a party, find recipes, or compare educational opportunities. Some even turn to AI for emotional companionship—creating digital partners tailored to be the “perfect fit.”
While I’m not here to debate all the moral or practical controversies surrounding AI, I do want to explore an important question: What makes real, human relationships unique?
What are the emotional needs that only another person can meet?
At our core, we all want to be seen, heard, known, and valued.
In his book The 7 Primal Questions, Mike Foster identifies seven questions that shape much of human motivation:
Am I safe? Am I secure? Am I loved? Am I wanted? Am I successful? Am I good enough? Do I have a purpose?
These questions flow from our earliest experiences and continue to influence how we relate, work, love, and see ourselves.
So—could AI ever truly answer these questions for us? And at a deeper level, do we really need authentic relationships with others to flourish as humans?
“Conversely, a relative lack of social ties is associated with depression and later-life cognitive decline, as well as with increased mortality. One study... found that lack of strong relationships increased the risk of premature death from all causes by 50% — an effect on mortality risk roughly comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and greater than obesity and physical inactivity.”
The Power of Being Known
Human beings long to be heard, seen, known, and valued. These longings are met and refined in real relationships as we risk vulnerability. When we share honestly—
“Do you want to hang out tonight?”
“I’m so disappointed I didn’t get the job interview.”
We are testing whether we can trust another with our authentic selves.
This vulnerability carries risk. Some people, fearing rejection or hurt, retreat into isolation or turn to AI companionship to simulate being known and valued. Yet, true connection requires mutual choice and the freedom to love or not love in return.
An AI companion can mimic empathy, but it cannot choose us. It can only respond to us. Real human love, by contrast, involves risk, but also the incomparable joy and delight of being chosen by another person. This is how we experience love and belonging in their richest form.
Avoiding the risk of relationships may feel safer—but it starves the soul. It’s like trying to survive on a diet that fills the stomach but never nourishes the body.
Why Human Relationships Matter
Authentic human relationships meet needs that AI can only imitate:
Mutual growth and reciprocity. In healthy relationships, both people give and receive, challenge and support one another.
Physical and sensory connection. Eye contact, shared space, presence, and even a simple touch regulate emotion, reduce loneliness, and build trust.
Self-discovery. As we interact with others, we see ourselves more clearly—our strengths, blind spots, and capacity for growth.
Resiliency and relationship skills. Real interactions require patience, forgiveness, and empathy. When conflicts arise, we learn how to repair and rebuild trust. These relational “muscles” strengthen our emotional resilience and prepare us to love well in future relationships.
Empathy and shared meaning. Through joy and suffering, laughter and tears, we discover we are not alone.
AI adapts to please us, but that makes it a one-sided, self-centered experience. A real person helps us see ourselves through another’s eyes—and gives us the privilege of bringing joy to someone else. That kind of connection transforms us.
Designed for Relationship
All of this reflects the very heart of God. Scripture reveals a relational God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—in perfect unity and love. From the beginning, humanity was created for relationship: with God and with one another.
The Bible tells the story of a God who pursues relationship. He risked rejection by giving us freedom of choice, and He entered vulnerability through Jesus Christ, who offered His life so that we could be reconciled to Him. The cross is the ultimate picture of love that risks, chooses, redeems, and overcomes shame.
Because I believe that God is who He says He is—loving, kind, gentle, just, merciful, and good—I can be vulnerable before Him. I can let Him truly see, hear, and know me. His love meets my deepest emotional needs, freeing me to be myself- vulnerable and unashamed, and to engage authentically with others. We delight in stories of true love; the greatest delight is offered to us as God, whose essence is love, pursues and chooses us.
The Reflection of Divine Love
Healthy human relationships are meant to mirror the goodness and delight of God’s design. When we are known and loved, we experience His design for us. When we love and serve others, we reflect His image.
Human relationships, though grantedly imperfect, can be a picture of the goodness and delight that God has designed for us to experience as we know and are known, love and are loved.
We may choose to avoid the risk of human relationships by choosing either isolation or the safety of an AI partner, but nothing can replace the divine gift of relationship—real, mutual, vulnerable love shared between human beings made in the image of God.
What are your thoughts? Drop us a line and let us know what you think.
